


Even Your Emotions Have an Echo into So Much Space

by Cosmic_Myths



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Tumblr Post, Ben is in here for 0.2 seconds, Diego Hargreeves Whump, Diego's second power, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Insane Asylums, Past Child Abuse, Plastic Forks, Post-Season/Series 01, Post-Season/Series 02, Pre-Season/Series 02, Slightly - Freeform, because klaus, because that's canon, no beta we die like ben, show and comic fusion, sorry - Freeform, the prime 8s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27695098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cosmic_Myths/pseuds/Cosmic_Myths
Summary: Diego holds out hope that his siblings will come for him through his suffering at the asylum. They don’t come. He receives a fork fight to heal his soul. It’s very effective.Or, 5 times Diego threw a plastic fork at his siblings + 1 time they got back at him for it.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Everyone, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Lila Pitts, Diego Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Diego Hargreeves
Comments: 11
Kudos: 89





	Even Your Emotions Have an Echo into So Much Space

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the Tumblr post: https://upside-down-umbrellas.tumblr.com/post/635299390349869057/ooooh-i-like-this-schizoidwire-thats-a-good 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this fic which was meant to be crack but turned out angstier than I expected it to.
> 
> Oh! The title is from the song Crazy by Gnarls Barkley which also showed up in the season 2 soundtrack(though it was a cover)

It’s his second day in the asylum when he began thinking about them. Everyone knows Five’s time travelling abilities aren’t the most reliable, so he begins wondering if his siblings even made it here. Diego is sure his plan to save the president, though momentarily hindered, has made it into the news papers. He’s sure soon people will be rallying to let him out in the name of the president, and he’s sure that his siblings will notice the attention, and they’ll come bust him out. 

It’s only been 2 days though, so he’s not super worried. They are, however, on his mind. The drugs they’ve been giving him have begun making him a bit out of it, and it’s starting to get on his nerves. He can’t react as quickly as he would like, but for some reason all he can think about is Klaus. There is a chance the drugs are taking away his ability to focus on most things, and Diego can admit sometimes he feels like he’s losing time, but his mind at the very least keeps coming back to Klaus. 

Diego thinks the drugs are reminding him of Klaus. He remembers days from their childhood where Klaus could be seen flickering in and out of sight as he roamed the mansion high out of this mind. Sometimes, it would take days until Diego was able to see Klaus with unclouded eyes. It never lasted. Diego finally knows how drugs affect someone. 

It seems like everything is a haze. He can still  _ feel  _ his power—a sensation none of them have ever been able to explain to non-powered people— but it seems heavier. It’s harder to pull upon it. He thinks he could if he concentrated hard enough, but the problem is that he doesn’t know if he could concentrate in this state. His focus is non-existent most of the time, and when he has it, he’s concentrated on the smallest things. Like that one branch right outside the window. 

“Are you gonna eat that?” A woman sitting beside him asks. 

He frowns at her, and refocuses on his food. Well, he tries to, but he ends up focusing on the plastic fork instead. It’s definitely throwable. As discreetly as possible, he slides the fork into his shoe, and proceeds to eat the rest of his food with his hands. No one looks at him strangely for eating with his hands, so he thinks he’s succeeded at not being suspicious. 

Later, when everyone is making bracelets, Diego has nearly forgotten about the fork. It’s really not his fault that his focus isn’t available. Luckily, when the sun from the window hits the bead he’s currently working with, it seems to light up in an array of numerous colors. The colors instantly remind him of Klaus which reminds him of the fork. He spends a few more moments mesmerized by the bead before slipping the fork out of his shoe. 

The woman sitting next to him whose name he hasn’t bothered to learn quirks her eyebrow, but she says nothing. While the staff is turned away from his position in the room, he throws the fork towards the window. It flies out, and he’s distantly aware of the woman clapping beside him. He manages to keep his focus for a good half hour before he loses focus and the fork stops its movement. 

He talks about his siblings during group therapy 3 days later. He hates group time, and he doesn’t talk about them in detail, but he makes a small comment on his brother with lanky limbs which so easily draped themselves over someone in some type of hug. He mentions his brother who he constantly fought with, and he mentions his two lost brothers—one dead, and the other who reappeared years after running away. He mentions that he has two sisters: one who moved far away after everyone moved out, but they at least had a civil sibling relationship, and the one who always seemed like the kindest as a child, but who also hurt him the most as adults. 

He doesn’t mention much beyond those few sentences. He keeps the powers, and the training, and the trauma far far away. He doesn’t mention the times Klaus overdosed which scared Diego so much he thought he’d become one of the ghosts Klaus saw. He doesn’t mention how Luther stayed blindly loyal to their father and how deeply paid for it. He doesn’t mention how Ben’s own powers tore him apart in a horrific dance, and he doesn’t mention that Five didn’t come back because he was stuck in the actual apocalypse. Diego keeps his comments about his sisters short. He doesn’t talk about Allison bleeding out before him whilst he stood there helplessly watching. He doesn’t even dwell on the memories of a time where it felt like it was him and Vanya against the world. 

Diego chooses not to dwell on the memories too much because that makes it seem like his siblings are dead—which they’re  _ not _ . They’re going to come rescue him from this place, and he’ll have to sit through Five rant about the apocalypse, and there’s going to be fighting amongst them all, and it’s going to be pretty awful. He shouldn’t even want to see them again. It’s not like it  _ really  _ matters to him if they’re around or not. He just wants a way out of this place.  _ (He already misses them deeply).  _

He ends up trying again the next day. He’s losing faith that people will rally to stop him, but it’s okay because he’s sure he’s at least in the paper for being crazy, and his siblings are probably just in the planning stages of breaking him out. His biggest concern is the thought that his siblings haven’t actually arrived in the 60s yet. 

This time he manages to keep his focus. It’s not always the most prominent thing, but he can feel his powers buzzing at the edges of his mind, and he knows he can keep the fork going with the clear thought of Klaus in his mind. Later, when the fork finally makes contact with Klaus, Diego practically sighs in relief. It’s not that he’s happy his little brother(because Klaus, Ben, and Vanya were always the youngest ones out of all of them) is alive, but he actually is very happy his brother is alive. Now, he’s sure a rescue is on the way. 

Miles away, on the edges of Dallas where Klaus was getting ready to depart once more, Klaus yelps which causes many of his followers to look at him. He waves them off, and yanks the fork out of his arm. He shares a look with Ben before smiling. They finally know they’re not the only siblings to successfully make the trip to the past. 

* * *

About a week after hitting Klaus, he tried to hit Vanya. He found it was easier to focus when he had a strong desire to stab, in this case it stemmed from her book and the fact that she caused the literal apocalypse, so keeping the fork moving wasn’t an issue. The issue was that it just never hit anything. Either she was out of range or she just… wasn’t here. He didn’t even try to process the emotions at that knowledge.  _ (Relief that she couldn’t come suck the life out of them again? Grief because his baby sister might be dead? He just didn’t know).  _

By the time he tries to hit Luther, he’s lost track of time. The calendar tells him that it’s September 19th, so less than a week after he tried to hit Vanya. He can’t tell if he’s losing track of time because everything is the same in this asylum, or if it’s the plethora of drugs he’s been given. It’s been two and a half weeks since he was put here. He doesn’t know why his siblings haven’t come for him. 

His current theory is that Klaus is the only sibling here, and that the others will arrive soon. He doesn’t want to entertain the idea that his siblings are dead, so right now he’s counting on the fact that they all appeared at different times. Klaus should know he’s here too, so when the others do arrive, Klaus can find them, and they’ll all come for Diego. 

Diego thinks he might be repeating thoughts at this point, but it seems to be such a struggle to form coherent thoughts at this point. Part of him worries he’s going to lose who he is before his siblings come, but his resolve is strong. He survived Reginald Hargreeves; a stupid insane asylum in the 60s isn’t going to break him. 

During  _ another  _ bracelet making session, he stares at a fork thoughtfully. His want to stab Luther has always been very high. They’ve fought viciously for as long as Diego can remember. Sure, some of those earlier memories involve a more friendly banter than actual fighting, but people change, and at the moment, Diego can very much get behind stabbing Luther. He’s not sure why he’s so hesitant. He doesn’t necessarily think his family would leave him here, but would they? He’s not sure he’s prepared to know the answer. 

“Do you have an obsession with forks? Personally, I think they’re scary,” A feminie voice with a british voice rings from beside him. 

It almost sounds muffled. It reminds him of hearing something from underwater, and that thought alone sends a wave of panic through him. Memories of the water tank fill his mind. He can remember hours passing that seemed like a lifetime. He remembers chains holding him down whilst rubbing his skin away, and he can remember the unbearable cold that made him think he was going to die from hypothermia. 

A punch to his shoulder breaks him from his thoughts, and he groans in response. He turns to see Lila, probably the one who spoke earlier, staring at him in concern? He doesn’t know why she would do that when she  _ just  _ punched him, but everyone here is crazy, so maybe he shouldn’t question the things they do. It doesn’t stop him from being pissed. 

“What the hell?” He harshly whispers. 

“I thought you’d been taken over by the fork,” She says in a watery voice. There are tears in her eyes, and Diego is at a complete loss of what to do. 

“Look, I’m gonna throw the fork away. Nothing to be worried about.” 

He throws the fork and begins focusing on stabbing Luther. His previous hesitance is gone in the face of the potential of someone crying. He’s not good with tears, never has been, so if he could see no tears in this asylum then his experience would be marginally better. Lila grins, and she soon goes back to making her own bracelet. 

He thinks in another timeline he could’ve been closer to Luther. The thought of timelines makes him think of Five, and his understanding of them is probably so wrong that Five would call him an idiot  _ again _ , so perhaps another life is a better way to describe. In another life, he and Luther could have been close. Both of them held such a strong desire to protect their family, at least when they were younger. In a world without Reginald to feed them spoonfuls of lies, Diego thinks things would have been different. Better even. A lot would be so much better, he’s sure. 

Maybe they would have been raised by Grace and Pogo because Reginald died when they were oh so young. They wouldn’t have to go through torture with a coat of paint over it that said training. Their powers are dangerous things, especially when they don’t know control, so he and Luther would have banded together to make sure none of their siblings hurt themselves. There would still be fights, but it would be about small things like who broke one of Luther’s model airplanes. They’d still compete with each other, but it would be a competition over who was better at sports at school because they’d actually be able to go to school. They’d band together to beat up any bullies who threatened their siblings, and at the end of the day, they’d be able to fist bump because they’d be the best team in the city. 

Diego absolutely does  _ not  _ cry thinking about the endless possibilities. Everything was really their dad’s fault. If he wasn’t such a shitty father, then Five wouldn’t have run away, and Ben wouldn’t have died. They’d be closer siblings, and the end of the world never would have happened, and Diego wouldn’t be stuck in this damned insane asylum being treated like a rabid animal. It’s okay though. Diego knows his siblings will come soon. They’ll come, he’ll save the president, and he’ll prove to their dad that he  _ is  _ a hero. 

With his newfound enthusiasm, he decides to start a new and better bracelet. He hands his old one to Lila and reaches for some more string and different beads. She looks at him quizzically, but she quickly takes the beads off the old string and adds it to her own bracelet in an unidentifiable pattern. 

When the fork comes in contact with Luther, Diego practically sighs in relief. At least two of his siblings are here. He looks at the walls of his  ~~ cell ~~ room, and grins because he knows that soon he’s gonna get out of this awful place. 

Elsewhere, Luther looks at the fork that barely managed to impale his arm. He takes it off and stares at it with something akin to confusion. He looks around his room, but he finds no one nearby which leaves only one possible answer that he hadn’t even thought about for a long time. 

“Diego?” He mumbles. 

The door to his room opens, and Jack Ruby is standing there telling him he has a match. Luther nods, takes one last look at the fork, and throws it in the trash before squaring his shoulders in preparation for the match. It’s best not to dwell on these things.

* * *

September 30th. It’s been 11 days since he threw the fork at Luther. He held out hope for an entire week that his family was coming. He’s been trying to convince himself that Luther and Klaus just aren’t organized enough to formulate a functioning plan to get him out of here, and once Five or Allison come, he’ll be out of here in no time. He hasn’t actually tried to see if either of them are already here. He’s not scared that they’re here but haven’t come for him. He’s  _ slightly concerned _ . There is a difference. 

Lila tells him he’s crazy whenever he mentions his family rescuing him, but then she asks him to bring him along, so Diego thinks she’s not that bad. In fact, she showed him how to trick the staff into thinking he took his pills when he actually hasn’t. There’s no way to stop the injections, but his mind feels less hazy now. He feels more paranoid as some of the injection dosages have been upped, but he tells himself it’s just his sharp senses coming back into action. 

Group sessions are still horrible. He talks about his father mostly because there are so many bad things Reginald did without even having to explain the powers. It’s the easiest thing to admit to. Today, though, he mentions his mother. He doesn’t mean to, but he begins stuttering during the session, and he’s instantly reminded of her. He’s reminded of her blonde curls that he used to think were made of sunlight. He’s reminded of her artificial eyes which would fill with such a real emotion—love. He misses her. He misses hiding under her big skirt to hide from his siblings when his stutter was so bad that he didn’t think he could talk. He misses her concerned eyes as she and Vanya patched them up after training or missions. There are so many things about her that he wants to keep locked in a box at the center of his chest where a heart is supposed to be, but it instead only holds a fragmented box of the only form of parental love he’s ever experienced. 

He mentions some things, though. He ends up talking about his dear mother who loved them far more than their father was ever capable of. He talks about her smile, and how the smile would drop whenever any of them were hurt. He can’t keep the smile off his face when he mentions the day he’d help his mother with cooking dinner, but he doesn’t mention the fact that he kept her recipes with him even after he moved out. 

After the morning group session and during lunch, he’s once again reminded of Allison. It’s probably because she’s a mother herself, and he was just thinking about their mother, but his mind thinks of her as he stares at his plastic fork. This fork is slightly different than the ones they’ve had in the past. It’s color is slightly different, and the handle is slightly longer. It’s probably a new brand. 

He decides it’s finally time to push aside his hesitation, and slips the fork into his shoe. From the edge of his vision, he can see Lila doing the same with her fork. He decides not to question it, and instead focuses on forcing himself to eat the terrible food they’re given. 

Today they’re drawing instead of making bracelets. Diego decides he likes the change of pace. Lila seems to be drawing intently, and Diego thinks he catches a glimpse of what could be a drawing of a briefcase before she scribbles all over it and begins drawing circles and what might be frogs everywhere.  _ (In hindsight, maybe he should have paid more attention, but he can’t be blamed. He was drugged out of his mind, and he didn’t even really know what the briefcases did anyway. There was nothing to connect in his mind).  _

Diego draws his mother. Art is something he’s surprisingly good at. People wouldn’t think it if they looked at him, but he’s a skilled artist. He never liked talking as a kid, so whenever he could get his hands on some pencil and paper, he preferred to draw instead of talk. The precision of it all had also intrigued him. It was like using his knives but close range stabbing instead of throwing. Maybe it’s not an analogy most children would use, but the Hargreeves children were never meant to be normal. 

It’s only after he’s finished shading the sketch of his mother that he decides to throw the fork. By this time, the staff becomes more relaxed because the patients usually aren’t putting up a fuss during recreational time. He slips the fork from his shoe, and Lila excitedly copies him. He tilts his head in confusion, but she’s not off put by his reaction. 

“Is it time to throw the evil forks?” She asks. 

He stares at her for a few moments before hesitantly nodding. He turns away, and throws in the direction of the window, so it will at least seem plausible when it exits the room. Lila throws hers right after him, and she actually manages to get it through the window. Diego thinks a look of panic flashes across her face for a moment, but soon she’s clapping, so he thinks he imagined it.  _ (He didn’t). _

He turns back to his paper and begins drawing Allison instead. Without taking the pills, he finds that his concentration is at least a bit better, and using his power has become marginally easier. With his mind on Allison, he’s able to recall a lot of good memories. When they were younger, Allison was still so loyal to their dad, but not as much as Luther, so she and Diego didn’t clash that much. In fact, on days where their mother was busy, Allison would help Diego with his words. Her power relied on her voice, so their father always made sure she could talk clearly without any imperfections. She wasn’t the best teacher, and most of the time Diego ended up drawing what Allison would look like a dress from one of her magazines while she read said magazines, but it was fun. They didn’t talk about it much, and after Ben’s death the entire family fell apart, but he still saw her at her wedding, and he awkwardly shoved a drawing of her in her brides dress into her face. She laughed before Klaus intervened and asked if there was more alcohol. 

The fork doesn’t take long to reach Allison—she must be closer than the others. Diego grins when it happens, but his face slowly falls when he realises his siblings still haven’t come. He begins thinking that maybe they’re not even together, but they could at least visit him, and then he could tell them that the others are here too. He tries not to think about it too much. 

In a different part of the city, Allison is closing up the shop with Odessa while Raymond waits for her. She turns and sees a fork flying straight at her. Her first thought is, oh, someone threw a fork at her because she was black. It’s not unusual, but then she moves and the fork moves to follow her. It lands  _ in  _ her arm and she hisses in pain, but only one thing is on her mind. 

“Diego?” She whispers with tears already forming in her eyes. 

* * *

Diego procrastinates on throwing a knife at Five. There are many different reasons for this. First of all, he doesn’t want to be killed for stabbing Five, and second, Five is incredibly smart. Diego  _ knows  _ Five could find him and break him out easily. The idea that Five is here and just  _ hasn’t  _ done that worries Diego. Just a bit. He decides to blame these thoughts on the paranoia caused by the drugs that are pumped through his veins. All his thoughts about his family potentially leaving him to rot in this asylum while they head back to their proper time scares him, but only because of the paranoia from the drugs.  _ (He tries to convince himself that the thoughts aren’t formed from his own insecurities).  _

The morning of October 12th is particularly boring. The plastic knife he took a few days ago is digging uncomfortably in his shoe, and he struggles to resist the urge to take it out. The windows don’t open until the afternoon for some reason that’s unbeknownst to him, and he doesn’t want to risk getting caught with the fork; he doesn’t want to think about the punishment. If his time with Reginald Hargreeves helped him in any way, then it’s the fact that he’s gained the ability to hide objects easily. 

Diego focuses away from the fork pressing against his foot and insteads focuses on the sunlight outside the window. The sun hits the window and pours sunlight into every corner of the room—including Diego’s eyes. He blinks and turns away only to find Lila sniggering at him. He glares at her, but he thinks glares must be ineffective against crazy people because she just begins laughing more. In a way, it reminds him of Five. Not the laughing, of course, but the resistance of glares. Even in childhood, Five would look their father straight in the eye without any evidence of fear. Diego’s sure he still felt it, they all felt fear in the presence of their father, but Five was always the best at hiding it. 

Diego remembers once, when they were about ten or eleven years old, their father had gotten upset with Vanya. The wood of her violin got slightly cracked, and he’d gotten so angry. He confiscated the violin for a month and he hit her with the back of his hand. It shocked everyone to the core, it was the first time their father ever physically hurt Vanya himself, but none had reacted quite like Five. Sure, sometimes Vanya would be used as a training dummy, but the point of those exercises was to make sure Diego could throw his knives  _ around  _ her. Everyone was shocked to see it happen. As tears formed in Vanya’s eyes, Five went absolutely feral. 

Diego remembers watching in shock as Five gently pushed Vanya behind him and  _ yelled  _ at their  _ father.  _ It wasn’t something anyone had really had the guts to do before. Sure, rebellious stunts were still pulled by all the siblings, and sometimes they’d pretend not to hear their father, but none of them had ever  _ actively  _ talked back. Reginald looked shocked before he dismissed the rest of them. Luther was the first one to comply, but even he hesitated and looked between Five and their father in concern. Klaus almost did stay, but Five looked to Ben and gave a nod, so after a few moments, Ben dragged Klaus away with him. Diego and Allison were still shocked, and they were both scared of what would happen with Five. The two of them had resolved to stay with Five to make sure nothing happened. Five always had a plan though. He whispered a few words to Vanya before gently smiling, and he pushed her in their direction. 

“Take Vanya to mom for me, okay?” He asked. 

How were they supposed to say no? The screaming could be heard through the whole house. Allison tightly gripped his hand in the infirmary while Vanya cried. For a while, Diego thought it was because her cheek hurt, but now he’s able to realise that she felt guilty that Five would get in trouble for her. It wasn’t the last time Five stood up for them. He and their father began long yelling matches that would result in Five being gone for days at a time. Of course, this all stopped when they were 13. 

Diego looks back to his shoe. Five was always one of the most caring out of all of them. That being said, Diego also has numerous reasons to want to stab Five, so he’s beginning to think throwing a fork at him might be beneficial for both parties. With his new plan, he actually has something to keep him going until the afternoon. 

He spends the rest of the morning looking at the sky from the window. He counts the clouds. Each one comes in wisps that slowly disappear from sight, and it almost reminds him of how easily Five slipped through their fingers. It reminds him of Five slipping into their rooms with a grin on his face as they prepared to go to Griddy’s together, and the way the clouds separate occasionally reminds him of his family after Five left. 

Lila nudges his shoulder and tells him it’s time for lunch. He actually talks to her through the meal, and he enjoys having at least someone to talk to. He’s not sure how long he’ll last in this place before he actually goes insane. He never says it outloud, he’s sure Lila would just think he’s crazy, but he still has some hope that his family will come for him. 

Later, after he has thrown the fork, his heart begins to sink. It’s like Vanya—the fork never comes in contact with its target. Diego swallows the lump in his throat as he thinks of the worst case scenarios. Maybe the time travelling really took its toll on him, and maybe he didn’t acorn this time. Maybe he actually got to whatever time they were meant to end up in. Maybe he’s with versions of themselves who got their brother back at a younger age. Diego wonders if that means they really will be stuck here for the rest of their lives. Diego finds the thought of Five at least being alive, even with different versions of themselves, is far better than the possibility of Five being dead. 

* * *

Diego looks at the electric bass he’s sketched and frowns. He hadn’t meant to draw it, but his mind wandered, and now he’s struggling to hold memories at bay. He flips the paper over aggressively, and begins drawing something else, but if he looks hard enough, he can still see the lines of the bass on the other side of the paper. Lila takes some of his colored pencils, and while most days he would exchange friendly banter with her until one of them kept the pencils, he’s more focused on trying to ignore the outline of the bass guitar which is mocking him from the other side of the paper. 

He angrily flips the paper over again, ready to scribble over the sketch, but he halts in his tracks. It’s not a bad drawing, but that’s not really the problem. It’s too late now; his mind wanders to a time when he played guitar in front of people at various places. His mind wanders to a time where he was so sure he had a way to get far away from the suffocating prison that was their house. 

The Prime 8s. For a while, it felt like the only good thing in his life, and maybe it was. He was 15 when it started, a little over a year before Ben died, and just under 2 years since Five left. He can’t really remember why Vanya stopped playing her violin, but she started doing more and more rebellious acts, and Diego could swear their father was getting more and more frustrated with her. It was hilarious to watch. 

He asked her to form a band with him when he overheard her listening to the same type of music that he liked. She’d seemed surprised, and he hadn’t really expected her to agree, but with more confidence than he thought she possessed, she agreed. From then on the two of them became inseparable best friends. Their father was definitely annoyed, but Diego had long since stopped caring about following the rules. Diego could tell the others were surprised when they started practicing songs, but Klaus just cheered them on while Ben smiled encouragingly, and sometimes Allison would help Vanya with her makeup. Even Luther complimented them sometimes. He didn’t like the same music as them, but he still tried to be a good brother. 

Of course, like all good things it fell apart. Diego will never admit it, but he knows it was his fault they fell apart. Afterall, he was the one to not show up to the gig that he promised to be at. His need to be a hero, his need to protect people, came before playing music. He guesses it came before his sister too. When he and the others arrived home, Vanya wasn’t there to greet him. Their relationship became tense, and a few months later when Ben died, their bonds seem to completely shatter. Of course, the book didn’t help with the fractured relationship either. 

He glares at the paper one last time before he crumples it into a ball and throws it to the other side of the room. He can practically hear the exasperation that the staff is feeling, but it’s not like these things don’t happen often. Besides, throwing a paper ball really wasn’t enough to get their attention. It was enough to get Lila’s attention though. 

“Bad drawing?” She asks without looking up from her own page. 

“Something like that,” He grumbles while reaching for a new piece of paper. 

He grabs some colored pencils that Lila is hoarding, but he can’t think of anything else to draw. His eyes drift to the calendar. It’s October 27th, 1963. His hair has been getting longer, and he hasn’t been able to shave. His hands occasionally fidget, probably from the drugs, and he doesn’t even want to know how crazy he looks. He keeps reminding himself that he’s survived worse, but he’d never been under the affects of drugs for so long. 

His treacherous mind wanders back to Vanya and the rest of his siblings. He  _ knows  _ Klaus, Luther, and Allison are here, so he can’t help but wonder what they’re up to. He worries about Allison, racism is even worse in this time period, and he worries about Klaus because of his addiction. He has no idea what Luther could be doing—the thought of Luther without their dad is such a foreign concept. He’s worried about Vanya and Five too, even if he won’t admit it. He just hopes he hasn’t lost more siblings. 

The emotions he has concerning Vanya are complicated and conflicting. On one hand, it’s his instinct to love his family. On the other hand, her betrayal from the book still cuts deep. He really doesn’t want to begin processing the apocalypse right now. Thinking about all of these emotions really makes him want to punch something, but he’s sure that will get him in trouble with the staff. 

“Something’s bothering you,” Lila says. 

He shrugs his shoulders in response, but doesn’t verbally answer. He continues to stare at the calendar, but he’s interrupted when a plastic fork is waved in front of his face. Lila grins at him, and he finds himself slightly grinning back. He takes the fork from her, and if possible, her smile grows wider. 

“Want to throw the forks to make you feel better?” She asks as she grabs another fork seemingly out of nowhere. 

He laughs and nods. Together, they aim for the window. This time, Lila’s fork falls short of the actual window, but Diego’s goes flying through. His mind drifts back to Vanya, and he figures, he might as well check again. For all he knows, she could have arrived at a different time than he did, and she could be here now. He doesn’t think it will hurt to check. 

When it does hit Vanya, he’s surprised by how relieved he feels. The confirmation that she’s alive is surprising. Of course, he feels vindictive next. He thinks it’s fitting revenge for her book, and he sleeps easy that night. 

On a farm on the outskirts of Dallas, an amnesiac Vanya looks at her arm in shock. Sissy rushes over and asks what happened, but all Vanya can do is shake her head mutely. She doesn’t even feel the pain, but for some inexplicable reason, it almost feels familiar. She must be going crazy. 

* * *

Diego angrily stares out of the window in Griddy’s. After meeting their alive father and The Sparrow Academy, they all quickly left the house. However, this presents one problem—they’re now homeless. They’re stuck with no plan in a timeline that’s not even theirs. Five has been muttering equations to himself, Diego feels bad for the poor waitress, and Klaus seems to be dying on the table. Luther is eating a donut whilst softly talking with Allison, and Vanya is just staring at the plastic utensils in a cup at the end of the table. 

The plastic forks seem to haunt him. He barely manages to suppress a shudder at the thought of the asylum. Really, they all deserve a break. Of course, Hargreeves can never get what they want. He debates stepping outside, but that would require getting Klaus to move from his seat beside him, and Diego really doesn’t want to disturb Klaus. 

“Diego, did you by chance have access to plastic forks in the asylum?” Vanya asks. 

He looks at her. She just looks very concerned and confused. Diego thinks it’s pretty obvious he’s the only one that could have possibly hit them with the plastic forks, but he remembers that she had amnesia until the incident with the FBI. From beside them, Klaus begins laughing softly. It’s nearly hysterical, but Diego’s more surprised that they’re not _ all  _ in hysterics at this point. 

“Yeah,” He says. 

“It confused Sissy and me so much. I didn’t know why there was a fork in my arm,” Vanya says. 

She sighs before she follows Klaus’ example and leans her head on the table. Diego honestly considers joining them. Instead, his thoughts roam to the past 10 days. When he woke up after the encounter with Five, he was in a straight jacket, and even though it wasn’t his first time in a straight jacket, it was a horrible feeling to wake up to. Probably because once, when Diego was younger, Reginald tried holding him down because he’d broken out of the chains the previous night. His wrists were bloody and raw, and some of his fingers were sprained, but he’d escaped. He’d been put into something worse. 

One of the worst things is that it happened when he was asleep. He has a habit of not breathing while sleeping because breathing has never been something he does without at least some level of conscience thought, so he didn’t drown, but he freaked out when he opened his eyes to find himself in the tank. For a moment back in the asylum, he thought he was back in the tank. The tank is also what taught him how to get out of a straight jacket. 

To be honest, he’s still upset that Five did that. He’s upset that none of them ever came for him, and that in the end, he had to escape himself. Sure, Five said he’d be back for him, but Diego has trust issues. They all do. After waiting so long, he wasn’t sure Five really  _ would  _ come back. In a way, he understands why his sisters didn’t come: Vanya had amnesia, and Diego doubts a black woman would’ve gotten visiting privileges to one of the patients. His brothers though? Diego can’t fathom why they didn’t come. 

“Klaus?” He softly asks. 

He doesn’t want to bother his brother if he’s fallen asleep, but thankfully Klaus seems to still be awake. He turns his head to look at Diego, and Diego notices that his eyes are red rimmed. Seeing not Ben had been hard on all of them, and everyone is coping in different ways. Diego grabs a napkin, rolls it into a ball, and throws it at Luther to get his attention as well. Luther and Allison both turn, and at this point it’s gotten Five’s attention and Vanya’s attention, so now everyone is staring at him when he just wanted to talk to Luther and Klaus. 

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He tries to push images of white walls fading into the foggy glass of a water tank out of his mind, but it barely works. He can practically feel the cool autumn breeze coming in from the asylum window as it wraps around him and transforms into the chilled embrace of the water surrounding him. His hands slightly shake, and he has to remind himself that it’s not because of any drugs the staff gave him, nor is it because he feels like every part of him has turned to ice; he’s not in either of those places anymore. 

He opens his eyes and looks at both Luther and Klaus. Blue and green eyes stare back at his clashing brown ones, and they both look very confused as to why he got their attention. Diego begins picturing the words in his mind, but the barrier is still there. His siblings wait. None of them pry. They just patiently wait, and that means more to him than they could possibly know. 

“D-did y-y-you.” He frowns and takes another deep breath. He focuses on fully picturing the words. “Did y-you l-look for m-me after the f-forks?”

Mirroring looks of guilt flash over their faces causing Diego to scowl and turn away. He can feel Allison’s hand on his shoulder, and Vanya’s foot lightly taps his leg under the table. He tries not to feel betrayed, but his mind keeps flashing back to his words in the barn.  _ “Difference is… they love me back.” _ Now, Diego’s questioning if that’s even true. Maybe they haven’t reached familial love yet; maybe everything is seen through a rose-tinted glass of Diego’s own emotional weakness. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Klaus’ pierces through the silence inhabited only by his own thoughts. Diego doesn’t turn to look at his brother, but he can see his reflection in the diner window. Klaus meets his eyes in the reflection. Diego can’t find it in him to turn away. Allison squeezes his shoulder in comfort, and after a few moments, Klaus finally continues. 

“I was on my way to leave the city, so I didn’t look as hard as I should have. It’s a shitty excuse, I know. I should have torn the entire city down looking for you, but despite Ben—” Klaus pauses at the mention of their brother. “Despite Ben telling me to keep looking, I didn’t. I guess I just assumed you’d be fine on your own, and that soon Fivey would be able to find us all and bring us together. 

“I’m sorry too,” Luther speaks up. “I was so ready to push every aspect of my own life away; I thought I had finally made myself into someone without dad. That doesn’t excuse my actions, and I’m sorry.” 

Diego laughs, but it’s only partially humorful. He ignores the burning sensation in his eyes, and waits a few moments to turn back to them. It’s such an odd image, seeing them all together like this. They were actually  _ apologising _ , and that’s odd enough on its own seeing as they’re Hargreeves. 

“I can’t believe we actually talked about our f-feelings,” Diego says. 

The others begin laughing at his words, and even Five affectionately shakes his head. Klaus looks to Vanya, then to Allison, then back to Vanya before grinning. At first Diego thinks nothing of it because it’s probably just a family bonding thing, but Klaus reaches over and grabs 3 plastic forks and distributes them to Allison and Vanya. All three of them point the forks at Diego. 

“Revenge,” The say in sync. 

Diego barely manages to get a fork before he’s being attacked 3 to one. It’s a simple fork fight, one they would have done many times before if they’d had a normal childhood, but at the very least, they can do it now. When Luther and Five join in, this strange timeline feels a little more like home, even if they're all attacking him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! Happy ending!
> 
> (I should be working on my other TUA fic, but I'm NOT)
> 
> You can check me out on Tumblr @tua-cosmic-academy


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